Love

 We love because he first loved us. Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.       

1 John 4:19-21

Love of God is rooted in our love for others. This is the plain and simple teaching of Scripture, though there is nothing simple about putting it into practice. If our love for God does not include the people He has placed in our lives, John is unambiguous in his condemnation, calling us liars. However difficult it may be, this truth is one that we must contend with, for it lies at the very heart of our ability to live faithful and holy lives.

In many ways, it is easier to love God in isolation. You and I have never seen God, and his perceived distance or absence can leave us distracted and forgetful. On the other hand, that family member who always asks you for money is quite visible. Or, that other family member who boldly embraces a way of life that you believe to be for their harm, they too are far more difficult to forget.

The concrete reality of relationships makes them the unavoidable training ground for love.

If you want to love God, start with your love (or lack of love) for your brother or sister. Who are the people in your life that God is inviting you to be in relationship with, not only when it is easy, but when it is profoundly difficult? What does it mean to love them when you get nothing in return? Are you able to love when they don’t deserve it?

These are the questions we must be willing to ask ourselves, especially if we want to know what it means to love God in real and concrete ways. If you want to grow in your capacity for love and encounter with God, begin with those closest to you. And when that is a profoundly hard thing to do, resist the natural impulse to keep brokenness at arm’s length. God is with you, and he may, in fact, want to use you in a surprising way to communicate his love for one of his children in and through you.

Thorny troubles?

So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:7-8 

When I think of a thorn in the flesh, I immediately surmise something bad, hard, or painful. Yet, the Apostle Paul sees his thorn in the flesh as a blessing, God’s way of keeping conceit at bay and humility ever present. He was a generously gifted person, someone whom the Lord Jesus had revealed Himself in such profound ways that Paul was unable in some cases to wrap words around or even have a release from Holy Spirit to share. Yet he suffered. Paul suffered thirty-nine lashes five times, was beaten with rods three times, stoned three times, and shipwrecked three times. In addition to these afflictions from others, he also experienced a physical ailment. Like a thorn, small, out of sight, pesky with the potential for infection and more severe pain. Like Jesus in the garden, Paul pleaded for the Lord to extract his thorn three times. God said no, “My grace is sufficient for My power will be made perfect in weakness.” Delivered by Satan’s messenger, but God used it for good. Paul learned in his pain that humility boasts of weaknesses while pride boasts of strength.

How can pain in our bodies be a blessing? A rose is one of God’s most compelling creations; its sight and smell ignite pleasure and praise, yet the stem lifting up its beauty is adorned with thorns. The beauty of our Creator's handiwork is on display not where pain is always absent but where pain is ever present, sometimes intentionally inflicted. As Paul describes, thorns are meant to be like trusses that bind our hearts, minds, emotions, and bodies closer to Christ. Unchecked egos run over relationships, taking for granted God’s blessings. So, in the Lord’s wisdom, He sometimes allows evil influences to keep a person’s conceit in check. What’s meant for bad, God uses for good. Spurgeon describes the need for restraints to protect us from pride and conceit:

Let us never desire to be rid of those restraints which God has seen fit to lay upon us—they are more necessary than we have ever dreamed of. Remember how the vine, when bound to the stake which upheld it, judged itself a martyr and longed to be free, but when it saw the wild vine at its feet, rotting in the dampness and pining amidst the heat and producing no fruit—it felt how necessary were its bonds if its clusters were ever to ripen! Be content, dear brothers and sisters, to keep the thorn in the flesh if it saves you from being exalted above measure!

God’s grace is sufficient in whatever circumstance you are experiencing. You cannot control another person’s behavior, but God can give you the grace to approach another’s hurt with a humble spirit and empathic heart. Physical pain may be overwhelming you, but as you commiserate with Christ in His fellowship of suffering, He extends grace, mercy, and comfort in your time of need. A thorn in the flesh has an expiration date, but God’s grace never spoils or runs out. Your body of flesh will one day enjoy a glorified body with God, but while you are in the body, you can pray for God to bring grace and healing to your tired fretful flesh. In your weakness, He becomes strong, so your body becomes a living sacrifice to glorify your Creator.

The Lord's funnel

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. Ephesians 2:10

God gave me an open vision. I was awake and my eyes were open, but in my mind’s eye I saw myself seated at a small desk with pen in hand and a journal in front of me. Jesus stood to my right, and he was talking to me. I didn’t hear what he was saying, but I knew he was giving me words to put on the page. In my vision, I was listening to him and writing down what He said. I knew He was showing me that I am simply His funnel and that He will always give me words to write. All I have to do is ask for His help.  

Since then, I cannot tell you the number of times when I have sat with pen and journal in hand, empty without anything to pour out, and I have said, “Lord, please give me something to share. Please give me your words.” Without fail, He has provided, showed up and enabled me to be His funnel.

Being a funnel in life isn’t just for writers. It’s for all people, big and small. 

You can be His funnel when you reach out to others to speak words of grace and truth. 

You can be His funnel when you discipline your children and show them His way. 

You can be His funnel when you share your financial resources to be a blessing. 

You can be His funnel when use your creativity to paint, draw, or sing. 

You can always be His funnel in every situation and every circumstance to do His will, be a blessing, and bring His light into the world. 

Notice the words “can be.” There are times when I have been empty without words to share and I haven’t asked the Lord for His help. I haven’t asked Him to give me His thoughts. I haven’t asked Him to guide me in what I share—and I have felt it. It’s been arduous, difficult, painful, and unpleasant. 

But when I have asked for His help, it’s been easier and life-giving, (definitely for me and hopefully for those who read) as I have been led by His Spirit. 

My question for you today is: Will you be His funnel? If you answered yes, let me encourage you. It’s not that difficult. It only requires three things: 

A humble heart. 

A willingness to ask for help in doing His will. 

Slowing down long enough to hear. 

When you decide to be His funnel and you ask Him to help you do His will, it doesn’t mean it will be easy, but it does mean that it will be easier than doing any task or action in your own strength. 

“For the Kingdom of God is . . . righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit” (Romans 14:17).

He holds our heart

 Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

When I was told that my mom passed, it took my heart a moment to catch up with the words my ears heard. The first thing I felt was shock, followed by numbness, and then before dealing with this fully I have a church to feed as I received word right before taking to the pulpit. I'm convinced this is the body's way of protecting itself. Looking back on those early hours, I'm in awe that I could function, let alone, preach, then drive after receiving the news. 

It makes you wonder: How does the body even manage when one of the worst things that could happen to you does? As the hours passed and I began to absorb the enormity of the situation, I was sure my heart wouldn't survive. But I discovered that somehow, a broken heart still beats. 

Loss of a loved one is more brutal than anything I've ever encountered. I've been through the death of close friends, grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, church members, and other loved ones. But the death of a parent is a loss like no other. I honestly thought my world was shattered beyond repair. However, the sun rose every day, and the moon appeared in the night sky when the day was over. Other people's lives went on when my own had just driven entirely off course. 

When our loved one dies, no matter how many tears we shed or if we cry so hard that we're left gasping for air, our broken hearts still beat.  

Some think we are strong because we managed to survive the loss of our loved one. But really, what choice did we have? We must keep going – one step, one moment at a time. 

Others ask, how do you do it? I attribute every step I've been able to take along this journey to my faith in God. If it weren't for my relationship with Jesus, I would not be able to function, let alone live. We will all go through loss at some point in life. No one is immune to traveling this path. What we do and how we handle the loss is equivalent to how the rest of our lives will unfold. 

Placing our brokenness into the hands of The One who made us is our only hope. He is the healer of all broken things (see Isaiah 41:10). He is our Comforter (see Psalm 23:4). The Healer of every shattered heart is also the Promise Keeper (see Joshua 21:45), who promises to heal the broken-hearted (see Psalm 34:18). And He promises never to leave us nor forsake us (see Deuteronomy 31:8).

There is no specific time frame for grief. Just don't give up. If you're deep in the valley right now, hold on. Help is on the way. Reach out to The One who longs to hold on to you, and He will carry your broken heart that still beats in His gentle, loving hands. 

“The light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it” (see John 1:5)

Free from comparison

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6

In Philippians 3:14, Paul wrote, “I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”

When I think about this scripture, I envision a man with his eyes firmly fixed ahead. He’s not looking around to see what others are doing in their race. He is simply concerned about his own journey. To do otherwise, to gaze at other runners, not only to see how they are running, but to consider what they are receiving from the Lord and how they are being blessed, is unproductive and can lead to grumbling, a lack of gratitude, and feeling overlooked and ignored by God.

When we begin to compare our blessings, lives, and trials to our brothers and sisters, we are ignoring a simple truth: for the Lord to give to us as He has given to others, in the same manner and in the same timing as He has given to others, would be unfair. Because He has uniquely created each of us, and given us each special assignments, His answers for our prayers and requests must be uniquely answered as well. He knows what each of us need and when we need it. And (hallelujah!) His answers are always rooted in His mercy and love.

In Mark 10 in two separate instances, people asked Jesus for a blessing. In the first instance, James and John asked Christ “When you sit on your glorious throne, we want to sit in places of honor next to you, one on your right and the other on your left” (Mark 10:37).

Jesus denied their request.

In the second instance, Bartimaeus, a blind beggar, was sitting on the side of the road and asked Jesus to give him sight (Mark 10:51).

Jesus said yes. Instantly the man could see, and he followed Jesus down the road.

These two stories are a great reminder, that sometimes the Lord will say yes to our requests, and sometimes He will say no. But whatever His response, all His responses are done in love, and all are assigned especially for us. He never answers haphazardly or without care. Remember, as you experience God’s yes and His no, that you have been uniquely created with unique assignments, therefore, His responses for you must be unique too.

Keep your gaze firmly fixed ahead. Do not look about comparing yourself to others, wondering why God has favored them more. That is a lie from the devil. You are also highly favored in a very unique way. Don’t forget it. 

“A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot” (Proverbs 14:30).

Motives

 All a person’s ways seem pure to them, but motives are weighed by the Lord. Proverbs 16:2

My pastor recently uttered a phrase in passing that has stuck with me ever since I heard it. He said, “In order to truly repent, we must accept that all of our motives are alloyed.” To be candid, though I had an idea of what an alloyed metal was, it took me a minute to understand how I might have an alloyed motive. 

Here, the internet was helpful, noting that alloyed can mean “to debase something by adding something inferior to it.” So, my homemade cookies can be alloyed when I mix in expired chocolate chips. My car’s gasoline tank can be alloyed if I add a splash of orange juice in addition to the unleaded fuel for which it calls. And, my motives are alloyed when the purity of my intention is mixed with a whole host of “inferior” responses: envy, jealousy, anger, and contempt. 

There’s great spiritual wisdom in being suspicious, by default, of our motives. This doesn’t mean our motives are entirely corrupt or misguided. To be sure, we are often motivated by love and compassion to meet the needs of others. Generosity moves us to give our time and money to a worthy cause. Self-giving sacrifice is a real and beautiful thing that should be celebrated and cultivated in our daily lives. The point I’m making is that rarely, if ever, are these motives entirely pure. They are mixed, alloyed, and wisdom invites us to grow in our awareness of the variety of motives, both pure and impure, that exist within our hearts.  

All of life is a journey of repentance, seeking to open our hearts more and more to the transforming life of Christ, and at the same time learning to see ourselves as we truly are, the good, the bad, and the ugly. This is never a cause for despair, because we are not destined to stay as we are. Change and growth is always an invitation that the Lord extends to us, so when we notice impure motives that creep into our thoughts and actions, let us see them for what they are, and lift them to the Lord so that they may be transformed by his healing touch.

Take some rest

For we which have believed do enter into rest. Hebrews 4:3

Many people are tired. Tired of conflict. Tired of work. Tired of religion. Tired of politics. Exhaustion and fatigue seem to be epidemic in a modern culture that has more than enough amenities to provide rest: comfortable homes, outdoor experiences and loving relationships. Sadly, many people are time impoverished, without margin, unable to invest time to rest. They are unable to give themselves permission to rest for fear of, missing out, not being approved of, or driven to gain something: money, status, acceptance. If you are tired, Jesus invites you to rest.

The writer of Hebrews is very clear: when you placed your faith in Jesus Christ you entered into rest. A rest that can become elusive and rare without continuing to trust in and follow Jesus. Success addicts sometimes quip, “I’ll rest when I get to heaven,” true, but without enjoying rest on earth, fewer unbelievers will see in our lives the Jesus who says, “I am gentle and humble, and you shall find rest for your souls; for I give you only light burdens.” He who commemorated rest after His work of creation is the Lord of the sabbath, who expects His child to regularly rest.

“For he that is entered into his rest, he also hath ceased from his own works, as God did from his. Let us labour therefore to enter into that rest, lest any man fall after the same example of unbelief” (Hebrews 4:10-11, KJV).

Labor not to labor is necessary for thorough rest. Which means taking the time to plan time away from work, to work at resting well takes a concerted effort. Structure the calendar in a way that trusts others to take care of the work while you are away. Preparation becomes a pleasure, which grows into anticipation for rest and renewal. It’s life-giving. God rested and said His creation was good, while Jesus when His work on the cross was complete, exclaimed, “It is finished”—then He rested. In a similar manner, celebrate your work as good and embrace your reward of rest.

The best rest comes to believers who trust work will be there when they return. No need to break your back with overwork, which can be an expression of unbelief. Trust that the Lord can accomplish more with His Spirit at work than you can in months of striving. He can open doors of opportunity you cannot budge. He can slam shut dead end doors to save you time. Rest. Enjoy God in His creation. Charles Spurgeon describes the peace and calm of creation, “But get away into the woods, traverse the wilds of nature, and see how restful everything is there. Note how the birds seem to have little else to do but to sing God’s praises, mark how the very brooks warble as they flow, and how all creation that is untouched by man appears to delight in a deep, profound calm and peace.” Most of all, meet with gentle Jesus and enjoy rest for your souls!

“Come to me and I will give you rest—all of you who work so hard beneath a heavy yoke. Wear my yoke—for it fits perfectly—and let me teach you; for I am gentle and humble, and you shall find rest for your souls; for I give you only light burdens” (Matthew 11:28-29).

Relational health

Care for one another. 1 Corinthians 12:25

The Apostle Paul instructed the Corinthian church to care for one another. Such a simple and clear command/instruction. To give attention to, be concerned, look out for, and protect are a few ways to describe relational care. Care takes time and requires discernment of what another needs. Paul’s remarks are in the context of the diversity in the Body of Christ, caring for another different from you is especially necessary. There is no better example of two uniquely different individuals than a man and woman in marriage. Be empathetic, listen with heart and mind, and love with words so the other feels cared for and loved. Relational health requires compassionate care, looking out for another by providing security, being respectful, and feeling understood. 

“So husbands should care for their wives as if their lives depended on it, the same way they care for their own bodies. As you love her, you ultimately are loving part of yourself (remember, you are one flesh)” (Ephesians 5:28).

Care for each other flows from Christ’s care of you and your care for yourself. Jesus calls to you in loving concern for your desires and dreams. What a beautiful template for conversations as you gently seek to know your spouse’s wants and needs. Kindly ask, “How can I meet your needs right now? Do you want to be helped, heard, or hugged?” Patience to help another diagnose desires is the first step in caring by bringing clarity. Fear fills in the blanks where there is an emotional fog; its reaction stings instead of being soothing. Sometimes, there is no need for words, just sitting in silence and being together. Quietness can invite relational calm by communicating I care for you, and your presence reassures me of your love. Be still together.

Care is the best medicine when another is hurting. Help each other move from anger to vulnerability with statements like, “This is what I experienced, this is what I am feeling, and this is what would make me feel better.” Cruel is a conversation that lacks clarity of what someone really needs and wants, but truly caring is a conversation that clearly states what the other one wants and needs. So, strong doses of patient love are medicinal for relational care to bring clarity to everyone’s expectations. When husband and wife lean into the Lord's loving-kindness to fill their hearts and minds with the Holy Spirit’s power, relational care is the good fruit. Focus on Father, Son, and Spirit to care for and change you, pray for and trust God to change your spouse, and with the Spirit’s leading, love and care for your lover. And in the process, both of you passionately pursue God and each other. Relational health grows best when you both care.

“You have granted me life and steadfast love, and your care has preserved my spirit” (Job 10:12).

The big picture

Or do you think God’s word originated with you Corinthians? Are you the only ones to whom it was given? 1 Corinthians 14:36

Two seemingly contradictory truths lie at the heart of the Christian faith. On the one hand, you and I are unique and unrepeatable, known and beloved by God as His children. The details of our lives matter and we are made for eternity. Yet on the other hand, as individuals we are small and insignificant, cast in the tiniest of supporting roles in the grand narrative of history, here today and gone tomorrow, a mist that appears and then quickly vanishes (James 4:14). 

I believe wisdom is found in holding these two truths closely together in our hearts, never losing sight of one or the other. 

Our participation in God’s great story of redemption gives us a faithful lens through which we can better understand the particular details of our daily lives. As Paul rhetorically asked the early Christians in Corinth, “Do you think God’s word originated with you?” They were greatly helped in their journey of faith by realizing and remembering afresh that they were part of a much bigger story that predated them by thousands of years and into which they had been invited to participate. With centuries of church history that stand between us and the Corinthians, this is all the more true for us.

It is incredibly easy to get lost in the details of everyday life and to cast ourselves as the leading role in the story of our lives. 

As we’ve noted above, in part this is understandable and even right. We must be attentive to the life we’ve been given, living it by faith in God and empowered by his grace. Yet if we sense our life is imbalanced and overly focused on our own story, take time today to remember the bigger picture, giving thanks to God for the countless men and women who came before, bearing witness in their own day to the love of God in Christ. As we do, let us take our place alongside them, living holy and faithful lives that embody the mercy of God in the details of our lives, and at the same time connect our story to the song God is singing over the whole of his creation. 

Generosity & humility

With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love. Ephesians 4:2

Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the Kingdom of heaven. Matthew 5:3

Gratitude and generosity are most certainly fruits of humility. Think about those whom you know who are humble of heart, not looking to be the center of attention, but those who look to help others. When you reflect on these other-centered selfless friends, aren’t you attracted to the almost effortless manner in which they celebrate God’s blessings with gratitude, and how they express their gratefulness by seeking to be a blessing to others, generosity.  Such are the generous expressions of a humble, grateful life. A close look at the lifestyle of Jesus is able to quickly assess his intentional manner of going out of His way to show the way to those lost, confused, and neglected. Jesus gave glory and gratitude to His Father and, out of this humble attitude, sought to serve and love others, so they might give glory and gratitude to God.

Paul opens Ephesians 4:2 with a call for humility, a humble heart is the foyer of a life that flows into the other inviting rooms of gentleness, patience, and love. This verse could be a commentary on the opening words of Jesus’ most famous sermon in Matthew 5:3, “Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the Kingdom of heaven.” Humility is the sermon introduction and serves as the foundation to build on our Lord’s most challenging teachings of turning the other cheek, praying for and loving our enemies, and the sanctity of marriage, just to name a few of His famous words. Jesus’ greatest hits (teachings), without the melody of humility, can feel burdensome and unachievable but lived out with generous humility, are life-changing and compelling for Christ. 

Alexander MacLaren beautifully elevates the essential nature of being poor in spirit as the first and foundational beatitude to the Sermon on the Mount: 

To be poor in spirit is to be in inmost reality conscious of need, of emptiness, of dependence on God, of demerit; the true estimate of self, as blind, evil, weak, is intended; the characteristic tone of feeling pointed to is self-abnegation… Christ begins His portraiture of a citizen of the kingdom with the consciousness of want and sin. All the rest of the morality of the Sermon is founded on this. It is the root of all that is heavenly and divine in character. So, this teaching is dead against the modern pagan doctrine of self-reliance and really embodies the very principle for the supposed omission of which some folk like this Sermon, namely, that our proud self-confidence must be broken down before God can do any good with us, or we can enter His kingdom. 

Humility first gives 100% to God. 

I read this moving story recently describing a generous, humble, and gentle soul:

One hot afternoon on a beach, people noticed a young girl drowning. They quickly rescued her. The little girl was unconscious. An old man from a nearby cottage hurriedly reached for the girl lying down on the seashore. As the old man was about to hold the girl, a furious guy warned the people surrounding the girl to step aside, including the old man.

“I was trained to do CPR. Stay out of this! Let me do it!” the guy exclaimed.

The old man stood up and stepped behind the guy, and watched quietly while the latter was performing CPR for the girl. After almost a minute, the little girl regained consciousness. The people around them felt relieved and began applauding the guy. The old man, who looked very happy, gratefully congratulated the guy as well. After two hours, however, the guy who saved the girl suddenly felt too much fatigue, experienced difficulty in breathing, and became unconscious. A few minutes later, he woke up in an ambulance, rushing him to the nearest hospital. Beside him was the old man he saw earlier at the beach, now checking his pulse rate. The old man did CPR on him while he was unconscious. This time he learned that the old man was a doctor. “Why didn’t you tell me you’re a doctor?” he asked.

The doctor just smiled and answered: “It doesn’t matter to me whether you call me a doctor or not. A precious life was in danger. I became a doctor not for fame but to save lives. We had the same goal, and that was to save the girl. Nothing can surpass the feeling that you have just saved another life. There’s a lot of things to be protected other than our ego.”

Yes, we all grow in humility when we are gentle and patient, bearing one another in love.

Daily praise

I will extol you, my God and King, and bless your name forever and ever. Every day I will bless you and praise your name forever and ever. Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised, and his greatness is unsearchable. Psalm 145:1-3 

As a kid, I always struggled with the idea of heaven that was presented to me. Often I was told, “It will be like a never-ending worship service.” For some, this was enough to move the heart in wonder and deepen their longing for paradise, yet as someone who found church to be a test of endurance, I greatly struggled to see the appeal of a sermon and songs that played on repeat for eternity, while we did our best to not squirm or make a sound in the pews.  

You may at times struggle with the words of Scripture that invite this life of never-ending praise, not only in the age to come, but in this very moment. As Psalm 145 declares, “Every day I will bless you and praise your name forever and ever.” If we’re honest, we may read these psalms and think, “That’s great for you, King David, but I’m struggling to hit my ‘every Sunday’ target, not to mention every day.” If this rings true for you, you’re not alone.

One of the most important works of discipleship is our ability to live an integrated life. We must resist at every turn the temptation to view our life of faith as something over there, and our “real life” as existing over here, with little or no interaction between the two. Yes, a weekly rhythm of dedicated worship and prayer with your community of faith is a vital lifeline that nourishes and sustains your life of faith. Yet for the vast majority of us, our lives also take us to work, to the grocery store, and to parent-teacher meetings, and it is in these spaces that we may struggle to maintain the connection to Sunday morning. 

Acts 17:28 reminds us that “In him we live and move and have our being,” and I believe this verse may be a key that unlocks David’s ancient words of everyday praise. We must begin to cultivate senses that are able to discern the presence of God, even in the most unexpected of places. Yes, God is present in the sanctuary of his people, yet he is also at work in our work and places of play, for he sustains us every moment of every day. If we can begin to see this, then our lives become more and more integrated, for we realize that there is never a moment in which He is absent. What’s needed is for us to discern his sustaining presence that was with us all along.

Contentment

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. Ephesians 1:3

Growing up, “count your blessings” was a phrase I often heard, in one place or another whether at home, church, and from coaches in post game speeches. It seemed to be an especially common response whenever one was feeling tempted to covet the success or possessions of someone else. Yes, we may have a beautiful home in which we live, or the faithful love of a spouse who sticks with us through thick and thin, but someone else may have a home and a pool, a spouse and children. Substitute these examples for the countless ways in which we are personally tempted, and you get the idea. 

If we ever find ourself in a struggle count your blessings, it may be that you need to reassess your definition of a blessed life. 

For the Christian, according to St. Paul, there is a singular blessing from which endless life and “fulfillment,” to use a modern phrase, flows: Christ Himself. Listen again to His words from Ephesians 1:3. “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ.” In Christ, every possible blessing is to be found. If you feel your life lacks blessing, it is most likely rooted in a search for blessings in all the wrong places: relationships, possessions, positions of power, physical beauty, or good health. 

For the disciple of Christ, each of these earthly blessings can be lacking or limited while still living a life of complete blessedness and peace. Look to the countless examples of the saintly men and women who have gone before us: people who endured poverty, illness, and even torture for their faith, yet content in every way. When we know and encounter the living Christ, everything else is transformed before our eyes. Contentment rushes in and the concerns of this earthly life are seen for what they truly are: momentary and fleeting distractions that keep us from setting our hearts and lives fully upon the joy of heaven, where we will know Christ and be known by Him forever.

Whatever this season of life may hold for us, hold fast to this truth: in Christ we have received every possible blessing.

Handling anger

 Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil. Ephesians 4:26-27

Though you may not immediately think of yourself as such, every single one of us is a leader. While “leadership” as an industry may often be targeted toward business executives or other high-powered white-collar jobs, when leadership is seated within the context of discipleship, it is closely linked to living a holy life worthy of imitation and, therefore, deeply applicable to everyone. 

As leaders, each of us has a “sphere” of influence within which we live our daily lives, and often there are several related yet distinct spheres: work, church, home, etc. Within each of these, our leadership is lived out in the context of relationships, people with whom we laugh and love, serve and honor, respect and forgive. In this way, leadership is never an abstract set of ideals or principles but is always rooted in our lived experiences with others. In truth, just as it is impossible to know ourselves in isolation, leadership is only possible when we commit ourselves to the life of community and relational intimacy, celebrating the vulnerability required to be known and know others.

Within this life of community, one of the most essential traits of any faithful leader is the ability and willingness to keep short accounts. With the words of Psalm 4:4 on his mind, Paul in Ephesians 4 reminds this community of faith to “not let the sun go down on (their) anger.” Of course, this is easier said than done, and there may be times in which our anger lasts well beyond a single night, blazing out of control and threatening to overtake our entire being. And yet, we must never lose sight of the principle behind these words: the longer our passions rage, the harder it is to reign them in, and the greater the devastation upon the life of our communities. 

Though reconciliation requires all parties to move toward one another in love, today, we are invited, to the extent we are able, to model and embody a way of life that is quick to see our own faults, and equally quick to model repentance and restoration wherever it is needed. Faithful leaders are never expected to be perfect. In fact, the best leaders are deeply aware of their faults, yet thrive when they acknowledge these shortcomings and model for the rest of the community a lifestyle of repentance and humility, knowing this is the way that leads to life.

Emotional check

 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:31-32

While the internet is a useful tool to share encouragement, kindness and love, have you also noticed there’s a whole lot-o hate online? People shaming one another, lashing out, and using sarcasm and bullying to put down one another. We as believers prayerfully realize that such division grieves God’s heart.

“How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity” (Psalm 133:1)!

Maybe we’ve been on the receiving end of someone’s unkind, or even blatantly nasty, sentiments, or perhaps we’ve gotten angry and lashed out at others now and then too. Regardless of which describes us, maybe we feel we need to do better; we need to either love more when we are attacked, or we need to be slow to get angry and slow to respond. 

The good news is that as believers in Christ we have the amazing honor of bringing peace into the world by how we relate to others, off and on social media. And (good news) our responses can bring us peace too. 

I would like to encourage you with some positive actions to take when online exchanges become unpleasant.   

The first thing to remember is not to allow our negative emotions to boss us around. The minute we allow any ungodly feelings to guide us in our response to someone who has been unkind or insulting, the other person immediately has control over us. And when they have control over us, we will not be productive in solving the relational problem at hand because our emotions will blind us to what is really happening. Additionally, we will also not be able to be a good witness for Christ. 

So, this means that when someone comes against you with an insult, or expresses an opinion with which you strongly disagree, you may feel angry, and you may want to lash out, but you must remember not to give your emotions permission to rule the show. 

James 1:19 says, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry . . .”

When someone insults you or says something rude, your immediate response may be to quickly tap out a nasty message back and tell them how horrible, rude, uninformed, ignorant, or stupid they are. You may be tempted to share an “enlightening” sarcastic statement to put them in their place.

But this is not the way of the wise. Instead, being wise means being slow to answer. Being slow in this way will give you the space you need to decide what to do; it will help you clearly assess what the person means, and it will keep you from being blinded by strong ungodly feelings.  

So instead of immediately responding, get up out of your chair or move away from your phone and let the situation sit for a while. Things often make more sense later when we walk away so our emotions can cool down. While we are waiting to respond, ask God to provide you with insight into the situation and what the person said. Then ask Him what to say. Perhaps you can respond in such a way that brings light, wisdom, and grace into the interaction. Or, perhaps the Lord will show you that you shouldn’t respond at all as some people only want to wrangle and there can never be peace with them.

Always remember “emotions are like children. It’s OK to let them ride in the car with you, but do not let them drive.” or feelings are like a cold you catch them but eventually get over them, and if you don't it can eventually kill you. When it comes to dealing with negative online interactions, how true these statement are. 

Love leads us

 The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want; he makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters; he restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Psalm 23:1-3

I read a story about 1,500 sheep in Turkey who went over a cliff, simply because one sheep decided to jump and all the others, one at a time, decided to follow. Interestingly, only 400 of the sheep actually died, with the other 1,100 having their fall cushioned by the first 400. Crazy as this story may seem and sound, it perfectly speaks to our need for a shepherd in our lives.

The word of God often uses sheep and shepherding imagery, with us as the sheep and the Lord as our Good Shepherd. Interestingly, the word of God never makes the point that we are stupid like sheep. We are made in the image and likeness of God, yet we are in desperate need of someone to lead us, and active and intentional leading is precisely what a good faithful shepherd is called to do.

I admit that my severely limited experience with livestock distorts my understanding of the shepherd’s role. I think of shepherds as fairly passive people, taking a nap under a tree on a sleepy afternoon while the sheep graze idly in the field. If I’m honest, poems like Psalm 23 play into this vision, with its singsong poetry that calms and soothes the soul, causing me to miss the fundamentally active nature of that psalm: “he leads me beside still waters.”

A shepherd’s primary job is one of leading, guiding, and protecting those under their care. From the sheep’s perspective, this may often feel confusing and even frustrating, yet if we believe that the shepherd is good and trustworthy, he will lead us to places that we, in and of ourselves, are unable to go. He will show us streams of living water that we would never have known existed had he not led us there.

Following Jesus in this season, for us, may feel painful and confusing. We may want to resist and push against the arduous and treacherous path He has us on. Remember this: Jesus isn’t here to simply validate our decisions or preferred future. He knows our “wisdom” may lead us straight off a cliff. No, He’s here to lead us and at times will ask us to do hard things. We must count the cost of discipleship and choose daily to surrender to Him and learn the freedom that comes from following Him as he leads.