Motives

 All a person’s ways seem pure to them, but motives are weighed by the Lord. Proverbs 16:2

My pastor recently uttered a phrase in passing that has stuck with me ever since I heard it. He said, “In order to truly repent, we must accept that all of our motives are alloyed.” To be candid, though I had an idea of what an alloyed metal was, it took me a minute to understand how I might have an alloyed motive. 

Here, the internet was helpful, noting that alloyed can mean “to debase something by adding something inferior to it.” So, my homemade cookies can be alloyed when I mix in expired chocolate chips. My car’s gasoline tank can be alloyed if I add a splash of orange juice in addition to the unleaded fuel for which it calls. And, my motives are alloyed when the purity of my intention is mixed with a whole host of “inferior” responses: envy, jealousy, anger, and contempt. 

There’s great spiritual wisdom in being suspicious, by default, of our motives. This doesn’t mean our motives are entirely corrupt or misguided. To be sure, we are often motivated by love and compassion to meet the needs of others. Generosity moves us to give our time and money to a worthy cause. Self-giving sacrifice is a real and beautiful thing that should be celebrated and cultivated in our daily lives. The point I’m making is that rarely, if ever, are these motives entirely pure. They are mixed, alloyed, and wisdom invites us to grow in our awareness of the variety of motives, both pure and impure, that exist within our hearts.  

All of life is a journey of repentance, seeking to open our hearts more and more to the transforming life of Christ, and at the same time learning to see ourselves as we truly are, the good, the bad, and the ugly. This is never a cause for despair, because we are not destined to stay as we are. Change and growth is always an invitation that the Lord extends to us, so when we notice impure motives that creep into our thoughts and actions, let us see them for what they are, and lift them to the Lord so that they may be transformed by his healing touch.